So, I’ve got this habit. It really comes out strong with Eric, and any time I am debating something with myself.
I have a knack for playing the devil’s advocate. I derive pleasure from breaking down arguments and attempting to strengthen bad ones. This begins to cause me problems sometimes, because I’ll start second guessing everything I decide, finding flaws all the while. That’s part of the law school/grad school flopping. It is important to note that this only works in real life, and not when I want it to, like on the practice LSATs, hah.
Sometimes I have to figure out if Eric wants me to critique his arguments or not, because my brain will be gearing up to break it down, and sometimes this is a good thing, but I do want to be available when he just wants to bounce off ideas.
I don’t know why I am this way–I think I always have been. I know I tend to be a skeptic, and I demand pretty hard proof before believing most things. I never do it with a mean spirit–it’s all in good fun, like a puzzle or something. On occasion, I catch myself not listening well enough to people because I am too busy beginning to break the argument in my head, and that’s something I’ve been working on.
Last night Eric told me he read about a study he thought was interesting which concluded that parents who have girls tend to lean to the left politically, while parents who have boys lean to the right. It just didn’t make sense to me, and granted, I didn’t read the study myself, but all I could think of was, well, what about parents who have both? It’s a trivial example, but I do this kind of a lot.
The colder, more rational side of me comes out quite a bit. I think of myself as being pretty empathic, but only about certain things. I have a fairly low tolerance level for other things, and sometimes I’ll try to figure out why people can’t just separate themselves from some issue or another.
It’s not that simple, I know, and that’s why I’ve been trying to suspend judgment and listen first more often. In a weird way, photography may be helping me with this. I can’t judge or be too critical right as I click the shutter–I just have to jump and hope for the best. Usually things work out the way I want them too, but at that point, I’m prepared for them not to. The critique, if necessary, comes later, after I have had time to process the moment.
Do you ever play the devil’s advocate?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Mister and I do this alot, mostly through banter, but we’re both big talkers - especially if there’s wine involved. It’s not uncommon for us to sit down for dinner and get caught up in a conversation for an hour….or two… lol
I think it’s extremely valuable to have another sharp mind around to help with figuring things out & to help with examining other sides of arguments. That being said, while I’m always up for a debate (and used to be a debater in high school!) I don’t tend to play the devil’s advocate for fun unless I really do see the other side of things.
I occasionally play devil’s advocate, but mostly because I tend to see the gray in a situation rather than just black and white, and I want other people to see that. Sometimes though I just do it to aggravate my husband
All.The.Time. I have a desire to be right and so I’ll play the devil’s advocate even if I don’t agree just to finish the job to completion.
I’m with Kim… all the time. I drive my boyfriend crazy with it, as I’ll never let anything be, and I’ll never take anything at face value! But then, I’ve almost always got things well thought out and hardly ever get screwed (where preventable) !
Always, and ALWAYS. I can’t help it. Thank goodness my SO doesn’t mind, either… or I suppose we wouldn’t have made it this long
oh yeah, but mostly because I like to disagree with everything anyone says.
you are quite good at it, though.
No not really BUT I do know someone who does it all the time even though if I’m not asking for advice or opinion but just stating something about my life and still they have to do that. I find it annoying sometimes (ok…I’m lying…pretty much all the time!)